Wednesday, July 15, 2015

I'd like a big scoop of free-time please….hold the hard work

Are you an early riser or a night owl?  I love mornings…most of the time. Morning is a time for me to get my brain and body moving, slowly and peacefully, aka please don't give me a to-do list or force me to listen to your loud, upbeat music, I'm just waking up and I'll continue to do it for the next hour or so... ok? Great. 

Theres something so satisfying about spending a quiet stormy morning in bed, frothy coconut milk herbal coffee in hand, definitely no pants on, fluffy pillows for optimal comfort, and a blank page inviting me to share my thoughts.  And this A.M. I've got some deep ones so brace yo self.

I think about why I drove from California out to Massachusetts in the first place:

To feed my adventurer's soul.
To escape an environment that didn't nurture my growth.
To refocus on my passions.
To remind me of what's truly important.
Oh and hot beaches.

I've been in a bit of a funk recently…Things just aren't flowing like they were a month ago.  As I sit and reflect on these feelings, everything starts rushing to the surface, but one thing in particular is resonating with me today.  I am reeeeally good at grasping onto the day-to-day happenings that provide me with solace.  Good friends, family time, nature, media, music, cooking, work.  I tend to give myself excuses because, "How can something fun be bad?" I'll go to the beach, do yoga, spend all night cooking (I actually like doing this, I am not crazy) or catch up with a friend for 3 hours.  These habits can be great, but I have a tendency to do this in excess.  

I am terrible at making sacrifices. I am going to blame that on the fact that I'm an only child… is that allowed? I'm learning that when I have a lot of work that needs to be done, and on those days it's especially important to make "me" time, I have to be realistic too.  So today I'll just have time for a short beach walk.  And lucky me, I live near the beach, so I can do that! Instead of thinking, I only get to spend 20 minutes outside today. Wahh Wahhhhhh, closed-minded thinking wins again.

Lately though I've been using this personal time as a distraction so I don't have to deal with my shit right now.  Shit being my deeply-rooted problems that I'm too scared to face.  Like, why can't I open up and be totally honest with myself?  Why can't I look at myself in complete perfection, as Intended? Why can't I let my heart shine and be free from judgement and self doubt and fear? Why am I too scared to push forward with my business, when there is absolutely NO PERSON telling me that what I'm doing sucks.  Yet my daily distractions keep enticing me to play and explore.  While fun is crucial in life, I need to find balance. I can't be healthy when I'm serving myself a big slice of entertainment with a condiment-sized portion of hard work.  

If I want to see results in my personal life and professional career, I need to put more work in.  I am trying to figure out how to make "fun" sacrifices and manage my time to bring these terrifyingly beautiful goals to fruition.  It's all a balancing act!

When in Bruges, beer and best friends always win :)

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

How I connect with my intuition after a draining day at work

Happy July friends! Summer is in full swing, I've just returned home from an AWESOME girls trip in Paris (I'll give you all the deets on that soon), I gotta fresh new short do aaaaand to top it all off tonight we'll see the first of the two full moons to rise this month.  I've just finished reading Anita Diamant's gorgeously written novel The Red Tent-- so feeling super inspired by tonight's full buck moon.

Last night after work I headed out to the beach, initially to avoid surfing the internet but also to get a better look at the moon.  Although I adore my job, it can be exhausting.  After a long day of talking to my coworkers, customers and running around creating smoothies, juices and cleaning, all I want to do is unwind and ground myself again.  Sometimes I want to binge on bad TV shows with a pint of Phish Food because that requires negative brain function and happy sugar rushes. But I'm in the business of holistic health so I try to switch this thinking.  When I don't know what I want to do after I get off work, recently I'll escape to the sand and ocean.  It's my "stop everything and just be" break.  My chance to reconnect with what I want and what is happening in my life.  To appreciate everything, good or bad that is going on around me.  

So here I'm sitting staring out at the nearly full moon, breathing in the wet, salty air and feeling the damp breeze in my hair.  I listen to the chatter of people walking around and the seagulls hovering above the glistening water.  I close my eyes to take it all in.  I relax my mind and my body so I can receive all the feels.  I open my eyes and the moon looks even bigger and brighter.  I see it's golden specks flickering on the water's surface, mixing with the dark blue of dusk and warm shades of sun-setting pink and red. 

This is my preferred meditation.

While I'm noticing all of this, I observe how I'm feeling.  What is surfacing in this moment?  What's truly important or relevant to my life right now?  What can I learn in this moment? How can I enhance this feeling even more?

These are a few of the thoughts that came to me.

Gazing out into the vastness, this is what I feel: Connection.  Maybe it is the full moon, the people sitting around me, or my own vibration.  It doesn't matter.  In this moment we are all connected.  We are one with our gorgeous, heavenly surroundings, the people and things we interact with, and most importantly, our hearts and mind.  We are all of it.  You and I are the same.  We are the ocean, sky and everything in between. 

When I feel this power, I honestly believe I can do anything.  That's because I can.  And so can you.

So try this.  You don't need to live near the beach.  When you get off work today, go to place in nature that gives you peace.  Maybe it's a bench in a park, some rocks along a river, or even your backyard.  Just get out and observe the space surrounding you.  Embrace it's power and maybe ask yourself these questions I reflected on above.  Take in all the feels.  Share your thoughts with a friend or your journal.  I would love to hear how it goes if you would like to share with me.